In my last blog, Both Human and Divine, I presented the notion that we humans are both “sinner and saint.” Believing that for some this was a brand-new idea, I felt perhaps further elaboration was needed. Personally, I was ignorant of my own human psychology until age forty-nine, when a crisis awakened me to deeper parts. In that brief glimpse into another reality, my first experience was one of feeling a Holy Presence enfolding me, healing me, and loving me unconditionally. Having always felt separated from this Infinite Intelligence that created me, now I knew that I had never been separated from God except in my own mind. I also knew that if this was true for me, it was true for everyone.
Now that I was awakened to the Reality of Spirit as an Indwelling Presence, I became increasingly aware of my underlying thought patterns. For instance, I began to notice that my unconscious patterns were geared more toward a negative and judgmental attitude rather than a positive, happy outlook on life. Plainly, this state of affairs was definitely out of alignment with what I now knew to be true. It was as though Spirit was showing me those thought patterns in my unconscious mind that now needed to be reevaluated and healed.
This discovery has led me to believe that perhaps most people are still unaware of the patterns of light and shadow within themselves. Yet as we grow into a fuller realization of ourselves as both human and divine, our faith will help conquer our fears, compassion and forgiveness of ourselves and others will gradually replace distrust and suspicions toward our neighbors, allowing peace of mind to finally settle over us. And as we become healed, the world will follow.
In November 1989, during my first conference with Dr. Brugh Joy, he pointed out that “we are polarities of light and shadow – projecting onto others that which we deny in ourselves, not realizing that what we see and judge as being outside ourselves is, in reality, within us.” I had heard these words before as a mental concept, but now they were presented as real aspects of my unconscious mind! As Brugh says, “We are many selves inside, operating consciously and unconsciously as circumstances dictate.
In 1992 I wrote the following poem:
PATTERNS DANCING
Marvelous creatures, we humans;
And formidable, too.
Surface-conscious mostly.
Of our Depths – hardly a clue.
If we only knew!
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Do we realize that our focus forms the boundary of our lives?
That the life we are experiencing comes from inner eye and mind?
If we looked, we’d find.
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The people in my life aren’t all they seem to be,
Mirroring reflections of deeper parts of me,
Parts I cannot see.
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With each individual I choose a certain stance,
Sometimes parent, sometimes child,
We dance a different dance.
Is this just happenstance?
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Perhaps today a tyrant, tomorrow victimized.
Who is this mysterious stranger, always in disguise?
Am I these many selves insides?
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Are these inherent patterns from a cosmic master plan?
And if brought to consciousness might we understand?
Wouldn’t that be grand!
Until next time,
Nita